constipation added to our constitution. Save on toilet paper by becoming constipated.
Health gurus claim that you need to poop 3x a day to be healthy. But in apocalyptic times desperate times call for desperation. Try to be constipated as much as you can. Other methods are the 1 wipe wonder, try to wipe once then take a shower. Try to aim for angel poops also. Try to make your poop hard as a rock instead of sticky and icky, no muss no fuss.
This is a public service announcement.