I lose respect for a fictional character if she falls in love with a hunk

Was watching some TV shows lately, and even if the character even jokingly falls in love with a hunk… I lose a lot of sympathy for the character. I no longer cry for them, I no longer am as deeply and emotionally invested in the character.


This is only the trope I rant about constantly in the book community lol. It’s a little worse in books though, not just the same male body type in every book, but the same personality: extroverted take-charge dickhead.

It is really incredible to me we’ve seen this huge push for diverse female body types in media, even in the romance genre which is notoriously inflexible about changing tropes. I’ve found tons of contemporaries with a fat female lead. But awhile back out of curiosity, I scoured the internet trying to find a romance novel with a fat male lead. Nada. Could not find even one.

It’s like the push for diverse body types doesn’t include men at all, and so many women are so focused on objectification and the male gaze, yet completely miss the objectification of men in female-centric media and the pretty obvious female-gaze…I mean, it’s not men who want to see a guy with a Fabio build as the love interest.

So, yeah, I can see why you’re sick of seeing it in shows. It’s a tired and objectify trope.

i stop reading chick lit once i read a chick lit novel (supposedly written by a female but who knows, author names are fake) and at the start it started bashing vegetarian males and praised brutish males that pollute the environment with gasoline, claiming the woman could only be turned on by brutish males that pollute the environment, i stopped reading after that.

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what book was that?

i dont remember it was many years ago.

Yep…they’re all basically like that. Or they set up a love triangle with a dickhead and sweet, considerate guy (Edward vs Jacob or Christian vs Jose…etc) and she goes with the dickhead for shrugs reasons…I guess. The guy who actually respects her is not “exciting” enough.

I mean, I know a lot of romance writers and I’m always all over them to write some decent male leads. Some are receptive to the idea, but a lot are like “It’s fantasy! It’s not real life!” and it makes me absolutely nuts, because I think it’s pretty obvious it is actually real life. But maybe it wouldn’t be if different types of men were romanticized, not just the same ones all the time.

(Also, can confirm a lot of female pen names are hiding men. Women don’t want to read romance written by men, which is a whole other messed up situation.)

yeah this world seems like a sad and bad world tbh.

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It’s also a lot easier to just stop being so fucking fat as a female, than it is to change your personality, “just be taller”, or “be less autistic” as a male.

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It’s hard for me to really get into love angles in fiction. I’m resentful and roll my eyes if it’s chad only for a frumpy female, but at the same time if she goes for someone she never would IRL (like in anime) I can’t take it seriously.

Just can’t win.


Is there a way to realistically make a female character go for a non-Chad?

(just kind of taking notes over here…lol)

Like is there any way to do it where you could enjoy it and take it seriously? I only write a-typical male leads, so that would helpful to know.


I have a much easier time connecting with love stories when they happen in a radically different time/culture, like in Gladiator (2000). Or when the female isn’t 100% human, like in Alita: Battle Angel (2019).

A love story that occurs in our society and thus have our regular females cannot be taken seriously, because it’s either unrealistic or femi-nazi propaganda.

A movie that can be taken seriously is Ex Machina (2014). Despite portraying a futuristic and unrealistic piece of tech (general AI) the human relationships in this movie are nothing but real.

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a lot of non chads have girlfriends so yes.

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Thanks for your input. I appreciate it.

romance novel with a fat male lead

Have you heard of Ore Monogatari?

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I haven’t, but I’ll certainly look it up now.

Oh, this looks really cute. I just checked out the wikipedia page for it. I’m getting a lot of good manga recs lately. Seems like manga has more diverse storylines than western romances.

Actually it can be very difficult for females. Females just naturally have higher fat and can’t control what areas the fat goes to. There are a lot of hormonal reasons and metabolic things that leads to weight gain. Simply birth control causes weight gain. And birth control is not always used just as birth control it treats many other things.