Humor thread: you might be an incel

This is a humor thread for shits and giggles.

Finish this sentence, “You might be an incel if…”

I’ll start a few here.

You might be an incel if you join an online dating forum for the blind and seeing impaired where you still can’t get any females [even the blind] to date you.

You might be an incel if you join public AA meetings hoping to score with alcoholic women or females taking them out to bars and you still can’t get laid or have any of them interested in you.

You might be an incel if you thought about dating handicapped or paraplegic women and even females that are wheel chair bound are not interested in dating you.

You might be an incel if you attend funerals in the hope of getting laid with grieving women or females and afterwards you find none of them are interested in you.

You might be an incel if you join mail order brides dating websites where even women in third world nations or countries state you’re too poor to date.

You might be an incel if you go up to a three hundred pound woman enticing her with an all you can eat buffet for a date and she still doesn’t want to date you.

You might be an incel if you entice a heroin addict female with drugs and she still chooses the drugs over you.

You might be an incel if you lower your standards the most you can trying to settle with an ugly cross eyed woman in physical appearances and even she doesn’t want to date you.

You might be an incel if you go to your local city wondering if any of the local homeless women would be interested in you only to find out they’re not where you fail their expectations completely in rejection.

You might be an incel if you start a prison pen pal letter system with murderous female inmates hoping that they’ll date you upon their release from prison ten years later and it turns out they’re not interested in dating you either.

[Yes, I’ve tried all these above examples myself out of desperation, I admit it.]

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Me, as I read through all of these: “I wonder, has he actually tried any of these? That’s crazy.”

Jesus Fucking Christ.

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There was a few dark desperate crazy or low portions of my life to be sure thus far. In all attempting only failure was achieved.


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The lowest point in my life with regard to DSR was probably at 23 after being very briefly used as a rebound (still a virgin though). That was when I decided to try dating apps and I just got destroyed even further as it sunk in that I was more useless and unwanted than the average Transexual/Bisexual/whatever on there, before deleting/quitting it all at 25. Then had two LDRs (not from dating apps) in 2018 and in 2019 which was already described here as amounting to a hopeless endeavor.

Still, never tried any of those things. Then again I’ve never asked out anyone irl, so it very well could be a barrier that prevented me from doing so.

In the present day, I couldn’t be bothered even if I could. Everything already feels like a waste of time and not worthwhile.

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You might be an incel if you attempted in creating an artificial intelligence virtual female on your computer only to have it crash the hard drive on your computer.

Her name was Octavia… 2019-2019

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People don’t realize there are different levels of incels.

Truecel- All women are repulsed by him, just being around women has a high chance of him being accused of rape, women make fun of him, still gets bullied in college, at his workplace. Or he just gets ignored very severely.

Incel- Women either ignore him, are not repulsed by him but not attracted either, hes in limbo mode. He may from time to time get a very mentally ill girl who is not attracted to him and just gets off on him orbiting her, but he still never gets sex and gets women who feign attraction to him but ghost him for some one better. I’d argue he could even be in a relationship and have sex but shes just not obviouosly attracted to him. The only way this incel gets a woman in his life if he has considerable amounts of money, considerable assetts like a house or condo, can take her on expensive dinners and trips, but she will deny sex with him as much as possible.

He only gets dates/undesirable sex when he has a high prospect of success. For example, an incel may be going to a university to get his masters. But the first 4 years of his university studies he got no real interest from women online or offline. But now that he has a chance of success and money he will start having women into him (usually single moms). For example I made a profile of me saying I was studying primatology at unviersity and got a single mom to match with me, but if I never put that on my profile I would get 0 matches as usual.

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Idk primatologist doesn’t really scream money. Lol I doubt most actually know what that is.

I didn’t even know what a primatologist was; never heard of it. Zoolegy, yeah. Seems pretty off-the-wall to put that of all things though.

I know, but the point is when you put something that somewhat shows status or a career vs nothing, an incel might get a single mom into him. Shows how picky women are.

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I think all women want someone who’s doing something and going somewhere.

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I put that I already had a Bachelor’s Degree, and towards the end of my time on them tested it with a Teaching Degree even though I don’t have one yet.

It didn’t seem to make a difference at all, but maybe that’s because no threshold was broken (with demands/requirements so ridiculously high).

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not really. I know several 6’3 white guys who get sex, relationships even if they work low paying jobs. meanwhile I could never get away with that.

try putting a masters in something high status.

I could, but I don’t use those anymore. Also CBA to do that for real as it completely fails a cost-benefit analysis.

Are they out going? Funny?

no. One of them is really boring, kinda arrogant, and doesn’t talk much. He still had women sleeping over, sex, and had multiple girlfriends per month. He was probably 6’1 with a chiseled jaw and white. However standards are higher now.


Most young women I know irl go to nightclubs, drink tequila and fuck any chad nearby (some fuck all chads nearby if possible).

They don’t seek a long term relationship, they’re just enjoying their youth – and by enjoying they mean having casual and unprotected sex with the largest possible amount of chads.

It seems to be he regular behavior of any women born after 1990 in large cities.

Take a look:


This pic was taken at a nightclub 10 mins from my home. These two hoes are drunk and ready to give sex to any chad nearby. Note those bright devil horns in their heads. It’s given to them when they enter the nightclub in order to make them feel even more likely to “go wild” (i.e. have dirty sex like the damn hoes they are).

It makes me deeply sad to remember that I feel sexually attracted by these two hoes above. My life would be way easier if I was asexual or even homosexual.

There are good women out there (some call them unicorns), I know that, but they’re hard to find.


I’m a hermit. I don’t really go to night clubs. I’ve been with friends to celebrate something like my friend finished chemotherapy a few months ago and wanted to celebrate at a club but we literally just all sat at the same table had a drink and listened to music and then left around midnight. I can’t stay up past midnight anymore. I turn into a pumpkin :stuck_out_tongue:

My life is school, studying, work and family care stuff.

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I’m a mega-hermit in this regard and have never even stepped foot inside a club, so I have actually seen very little of this irl.

But I definitely believe it. Social media makes that much obvious, with the average female in pictures not dissimilar to the one shown.

Cash, credit, or debit?! Love isn’t free from women or females, nowadays it costs men quite a lot.

The so called virtuous sex with their virtue signaling all the while charging their social company or interactions with men on a purely monetary basis, please remember though that it has everything to do with the evil male patriarchy. The evil male patriarchy forces them to do it! Women are completely innocent from everything, believe all women!

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