Hello, one and all

I go by Penny Dreadful and am a 24 year old female volcel suffering from mental illness. I’m from the United States and speak English fluently and exclusively. I am also hikikomori and NEET, so I don’t really get out much or do much of anything. It can get rather lonely since I don’t have any friends to hang out with IRL, though I try to focus my time and energy into hobbies such as digital art.

Lookswise, I’d say I’m below average. I’m 5’5 and about 150 lbs. I’m also African-American and am very insecure/self-loathing about my appearance as a result. While I’ve made attempts to looksmax and become a more productive and optimistic person, I’ve found myself either burning out or becoming discouraged and giving up. It’s so difficult to do this on my own, especially when you don’t have anyone with a similar mindset to help you with the process.

I’m hoping that this website might be of some use to me, that I can meet others who want to improve both internally and externally. I’m unsure of how often I’ll frequent said site, though I still wish to potentially gain a better mindset than what I’ve typically held.

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Thank you so much for the warm welcome: I really appreciate it!

I also have mental illness that makes going out really difficult! Art and other hobbies eat up the majority of my time as well. Currently I’m trying to looksmax and healthmax a bit. Burn out is a seriously difficult hurdle. So far to avoid it I’ve just taken to picking one small thing for each category to stick with and I’m hoping that helps avoid it.


Hi, I would recommend not online dating.

Like try something that shows your personality, in some sort of public avenue.

Also welcome :slight_smile:

Thank you so much: I appreciate the warm welcome! That’s an excellent idea: make small, gradual steps towards changing rather than taking on everything all at once. Such a steategy would be more beneficial in rhe long run.

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Thank you so much! I appreciate your welcoming messages.

Might I ask why I shouldn’t look into online dating? Granted, I’m not looking for anything and focusing on myself at this time, though I’m just genuinely curious as to why online dating should be avoided over IRL dating? Or do you mean online dating the sense that you meet someone over the internet and it doesn’t go any further than that, like long-distance? I just want to get a better idea of what you mean, that’s all.

Not sure what he’s going on about.

Online dating only works if you’re female.

Out of curiosity, how does online dating work better for women compared to men? While I understand that women have camera lighting/angling and cosmetic products at their disposal and women do use them to their advantage, I’m not sure how a man couldn’t be able to make adjustments in his appearance as well. Also, dating is more than just physical appearance. It definitely helps to be attractive, though isn’t dating about finding a partner to potentially spend the rest of your life with?

Females can actually meet people from them, if they want to.

Males like me use them for a whole year and get no interest. 95% of males get nothing from apps, because female hypergamy.

Fixing appearance will ensure greater and even greater success as a female, but as a male it is dubious if it is even worth the time. Looks are only the beginning, and, males are always expected to carry a conversation, with these boring roasties. Expected to invest time and energy thinking of all this clever shit to say, and at any moment, females can just simply disappear. In fact, a male might even very rarely manage to arrange a date, and then the female cancels/ghosts because of the sheer number of options and offers she is receiving.

i dont think hypergamy is the correct word anymore.

Really it is hypogamy cause females just dont feel attraction for most males